December 2011
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hughjackedman:
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plastic surgeon: how can i help you
client: well, i was wondering if you could remove this general area
plastic surgeon: you just gestured to your entire face
client: yea so can you do it
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tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying niece and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole